The beginning of a new adventure...

So it's been a LONG time since I had  post on this 'ol blog.  I guess I haven't had anything worthy to say?  Not true.  I slacked on my blogging obligations simply because I moved back to Kansas... and my life does not provide nearly the experiences that living in Europe provided.  If people want to know about my life, they can call or text now.  They don't have an ocean between us.  At any rate, I take full responsibility for not staying faithful to the blog.  (Not that I have any readers... this is really for me.)

I love to write.  It is a form of therapy to me and has always been super helpful to me to help process things.  I started writing a journal on January 1 of my 6th grade year and kept at it on a daily basis until my early 20s.  I still have a journal sitting next to my bed for emergency situations.  I gotta tell you... Today's 32 year old version of myself occasionally peeks back at the concerns and life stories of the 6th grade verson of myself.  It's entertaining.  There was heartbreak and "love" and anger and resentment... If I only knew what real life was... The whole "hindsight is 20/20 thing..." So much truth.  And I HATE to be the one to admit that my dad was right in so many cases... but here you have it.  I admit it.  

As if my life isn't crazy enough, I decided to throw graduate school into the mix.

Most of my friends/relatives know what my job is currently.  I have been at the same position for over 2 years.  I get to work with kids and that has been an incredible experience.  I love it.  My life is intense and crazy some weeks and I like to complain about it.  I try not to, but I'm human.  

At any rate, I have decided to go to grad school to further my education and explore some new ventures.  I went to my orientation on Monday... They call it a "transformative journey." I'm gonna be straight up with you... I'm terrified. 

Money is one of my biggest fears and stressors, as is true with most people, I'm sure.  The orientation brought things to light a little bit.  My life is about to kick the crazy up a notch or 20, it sounds like.  I knew it was going to be on a new level, but they scared the 'you know what' out of me.  They had me sign a paper of commitment to the program that said something about knowing I'd need to change my choices and be prepared to commit to the time necessities of this program.  I'm going to be straight up... my first thought was... "What about my Chiefs season tickets?!'  Is that bad?  Hey, I do have my priorities... and the Chiefs are one of them.  

I had already made up my mind that I would not be going to ALL the Chiefs game, but I have a couple lined up that I absolutely REFUSE to miss.  I'll make it happen.  I'm told that self-care is going to be super important going through the grad school thing.  Well, my self-care is the Kansas City Chiefs.  Arrowhead Stadium is my happy place.

I just realized that I have not even mentioned what I am going into... I am going to become an "LMFT" - a licensed marriage and family therapist.  My ability to psychoanalyze details of life is going to become my source of income... assuming I pass and all that.  (There's that pesky little detail...)  I have some specific interests in mind... I'm curious about sex therapy and/or sports psychology as extra branches of my degree.  We'll see.  My dream job: Being on the payroll for the Chiefs as a therapist.  That's a long way down the line, though.  

After orientation on Monday, I had to call my friend, Emily.  She's been through the program at Friends (Friends University is the school, by the way).  She's already an LMFT and can provide me very solid and reliable information about what I'm going to be going through.  And she's a WONDERFUL sounding board for all of my freak out moments.  I imagine I'll have her on speed dial come August.

I'm really questioning if I can pull this off.  I like a challenge.  I feel passionate about this new adventure, but I am freaking out.  I will be working 40 hours a week and going to school one day a week.  When I have to actually start practicing therapy, I'll have to put in 60 hour work weeks.  How am I going to breathe?!  I won't have a social life at all!  Not that I have a social life now, I guess I need to be honest about that.  So maybe this won't be a big deal.  It's just going to be stressful... I'm told that once I get into the routine of the new schedule, that maybe things will begin to work itself out.  I HOPE that's true.  

I need to get to bed, so I'm gonna close this one out.  I promised I'd get it done.  Well, I tweeted that I'd get it done, I guess.  I'm gonna try to get on this blog thing again... it helps!  I feel like this entry is super scattered, but I'm trying to collect all my thoughts... 

Bear with me!