Big Decisions

Buena!

I hope that you have had a chance to get caught up on my entries from Italy. As I continue to say, I realize they are a bit lengthy, but I don’t want to leave anything out. The blog is as much a journal for me to keep for the rest of my life as it is for you to keep up to speed on the happenings of Ashley Jo. J

Well, I officially got the offer for a second year to teach in Spain. They gave me seven days to make my decision (2 more days than last year!). I have decided to accept it. There is always a way to change my mind if something comes up that doesn’t allow me to do it, but for now, it is accepted. I will be returning to Spain in September to begin another year.

I look at my decision in a few different ways. One, I don’t feel like I have gotten out of the immersion what I wanted and expected to get out of it yet. I do not have the kind of grasp on the language that I had hoped to have at this point. I am better at it, don’t get me wrong, but I am also far from being fluent and far from being comfortable. I can understand so much more than I am able to speak. I just need to gain confidence when it comes to speaking and not be scared to make mistakes. It terrifies and embarrasses me to make mistakes! That’s always been a downfall of mine. I just need to get over it and be willing to make errors on this quest of mine. I don’t feel like my environment, at times, allows me to have the freedom to make mistakes without judgment, but I need to just get over that and make my environment cater to me and not the other way around. While I should begin that now, a second year will help me create this new environment I envision.

Two, I don’t feel like I have made a solid contribution to the school. I have done all that has been asked of me and, on occasion, gone above what has been asked. However, I don’t feel like I have really had the type of influence I would have liked. Now that I have almost a full year under my belt, I will be able to make some preparations for a better and more successful second year. I know what is expected and I can pick up a few key things in the states while I am home over the summer to help me. I am actually excited about that. I want to find more effective ways to teach these kids. So, I want to take a second year to make a better contribution.

And three, I feel like I am where I am supposed to be and that I am not quite done yet. I really like the turn my life has taken. It has been a surprise, but I have realized I am much more capable and strong than I ever imagined. I have settled into this life fairly comfortably and I am just happy. I don’t want to change that right now. Sure, it’s tough to be away from my family and friends, but with the help of Skype and such, it hasn’t been as tough as I imagined it would be. Time has really flown by and I think a second year would fly by, too. Then I could look at ‘growing up’ and finding a permanent job somewhere in the good ‘ol US of A.

What do you know? A short entry! Can you believe it? Me either, haha, but it’s for real! J I just wanted to let you know my status on a second year. You’re going to have to read my books via the world wide web for just a little bit longer. I hope that’s okay. J I look forward to continuing my European adventure and taking you all along with me. J I hope this finds you all doing well!!

Besos!