Viva los novios!

Before entering the church, the beautiful bride!

My first Spanish wedding experience. I gotta say, I didn’t come to Spain with “witness a Spanish wedding” on my list of things I wanted to accomplish. To be quite honest, I feel very lucky that I was able to meet such a genuine person in Stef and through her, her now husband, Juan. It just happened to be my lucky year in more ways than one as she was engaged to be married during my stay in Spain. I feel super fortunate that I was able to spend their day with them and also meet some very cool people along the way.

Let’s just do a little background of information for a moment. Stef has been planning this wedding since I met her, but in the last few months, obviously things had to be stepped up a notch as the date approached (quite rapidly in hindsight). We tried to meet once a week for coffee to catch up on events and I watched this girl’s level of stress rise at an alarming rate. Many things contributed: future in-laws, wedding dress drama, shoes, a mis-matched broach, photos… SO many things. A couple times I got to be a witness at some of these bumps in her road. I’m not going into too many of these details, they aren’t important, but just know that they contributed to her sky-high stress level. She was seriously thrown many blows through this whole thing and I don’t know if I’ve met someone as strong as her that could have handled this. A primary adjustment, from my point of view, was the requirement of the Spanish cultural and religious aspects that she needed to incorporate into everything in order to marry into Juan’s family. The traditions and customs that go along with a Spanish wedding within the catholic church were constant reminders of how things ‘should be’ and kept Stef’s blood pressure right up there in the danger zone. Anyway, I just say this because this girl has been through the ringer a few times over and to see the result of all of the stress she endured come out in wedding form, albeit a wedding of organized chaos, was something I am absolutely honored to be a part of.

The wedding event began by her family joining the bride at her house. This is a typical Spanish custom, I am learning. She asked some friends to be there to walk with them since obviously a lot of her family and friends weren’t able to get to Spain for the wedding. I was one of these friends. I felt unbelievably special that she allowed me to be a part of her ‘family’ to walk with her to the church. HaHa, I don’t know if it was anything special to them, maybe they just wanted some reinforcements since Juan’s family is so grande! J At any rate, it made me feel very special and I am grateful for the opportunity.

The tradition is, I believe, that the bride walks with her family from her house through the streets of the village to the church. This allows spectators to line the streets and marvel at the bride. Many throw compliments toward her and share in her celebration in whatever way they can. Stef’s escort would normally have been her father, but he passed of cancer. Juan’s father, instead, was the lucky escort. We, ‘the family,’ followed behind the bride and her escort through the streets of Valdepeñ as. The streets aren’t obviously the most clean, despite the best efforts given by most old ladies to get that dust off the street, haha. We had some issues with her veil catching trash along the road and it became quite dirty. When her mother tried to fix it and save the dirty veil, she was told that it was tradition to let it hang properly and to just let it be, so she did. This dress and veil were not in the cheap category, either. Quite the opposite, to be exact. Anyway, we followed Stef to the church, probably 10-12 blocks, where another group of people were waiting for her outside. Once we arrived at the church, they got her veil situated properly behind her for her entrance into the church where Juan was waiting at the door.

I like this photo because it is Stef's mom and sister holding hands behind Stef.  Notice the people waiting for her arrival.  :)

The ceremony was really nice. It seemed a bit chaotic as a spectator, but as I said, organized chaos. It wasn’t a wedding where you were escorted in by ushers, but instead, took your own seats wherever you wanted as Stef stood at the end of the aisle with Juan’s dad while Juan and his mom were behind them. The priest did a really good job. He did the ceremony primarily in Spanish, but did his best to translate some of the important stuff into English for Stef’s guests. He made it light-hearted and fun at times, but also brought tears to many eyes in a few spots. It lasted about an hour, hour & a half. It was formal, but it was also very free. During the ceremony, I was amazed at all the guests that just walked up to the sides of the altar to take pictures of the bride and groom. Like it was no big deal! I was hoping I could SNEAK pictures, but apparently, you are free to wander as you must to get good photos. I never got out of my seat, but I did snap a few good photos from my angle. There wasn’t (what we would call traditional) bridesmaids and groomsmen. The people standing and sitting at the alter were Stef’s mom, Juan’s dad, Stef, Juan, Juan’s mom, and Sabrina (Stef’s sister). Sabrina read a passage once and a few of Juan’s family members spoke, too. It was definitely a different experience, but very beautiful.

Stef's sister at the podium.  I don't know... I just liked this photo. :)

I now pronounce you...

After the ceremony was completed and the marriage license signed, the couple came out of the church to a massive amount of rice, confetti, and a nice display of fireworks. They greeted many guests and then took their place on the street where all of the guests and spectators had lined the sides to get a view. Again, we took our place behind them and then began the walk down main street. This time, the majority of the guests followed the bride and groom. We walked a couple blocks down the main street where a bar had set out a small table with a cold bottle of champagne, glasses, and chocolate. Here, the bride and groom shared a sip of champagne with Sabrina and Sue (Stef’s sister and mother). Juan’s nieces and nephew ate most of the chocolate. J (Currently, I don’t know if there is some significance in this particular bar having the champagne ready or if this is part of Spanish tradition, etc… I will ask when I get a chance) We continued on for a bit where they had a bus waiting to transport the guests to the reception hall just a bit outside of town, maybe a half mile or so.

Shortly after the rice and confetti shower

Wedding guests following the bride and groom down the main street

 
The cocktail hour should have been an indication of how fancy the night was going to be, but I still don’t think I could have been prepared. We walked to the other side of a gas station/restaurant area where there was apparently a reception hall. This can’t be seen from the road, so I didn’t even know it existed. And let’s be honest, you say the reception is going to be near the gas station, you don’t think real classy, right? HaHa! I’m a bit familiar with Stef, so I was knew it wouldn’t be something like “Grab a coke from the cooler and some snacks off the shelf. My treat!” HaHa! Anyway, we made our way to the other side of the building where you go up a small, winding driveway where the cocktail hour had begun. There was a massive awning over tables and chairs. There were plush black sofas with white cushions spread throughout. There was a red carpet covered in flower petals. A bar was on the opposite side and a person cutting some ham on the other. (Cutting the Iberian ham is an art form) They immediately had waiters dressed perfectly in uniform with matching white gloves approach with fancy silver platters of beer (with or without alcohol) and sodas. Not too much later and they were walking about with hors d’oeuvres of a large variety. All of what I tried was delicious. We stayed outside and just chatted while the rest of the guests arrived. It was probably an hour munching and sipping before they put up a piece of ‘red tape’ (like a red streamer) across the entry to the inside of the hall. Stef and Juan had to break this ‘tape’ before anyone could enter. They did this to some of the Spanish guests singing a song. I don’t really know the significance, but the presentation was very entertaining. J During cocktail hour, guests were able to look on a board where it had a seating chart as to where and with whom you were sitting once inside.

A photo of the cocktail hour

I was seated at the “English speaking table.” J Stef’s cousin and her husband sat with me in addition to Dougie and Nicola (the Scottish couple I rent the house from), Amanda & Pedro (Amanda was a language assistant here before me), Fernando, and Rafa (two really nice Spanish friends of the couple that do not speak English well). Anyway, it was primarily an English-speaking table. J We arrived at our table to more food.: meat and cheese plates, nuts, and a salmon and salsa plate. Upon arrival, our waiter tended to our beverage needs, all of which were free for the duration of the night. We snacked and made conversation as the rest of the wedding guests made their way to their seats. During this time, Stef and Juan were posted up at the head table (in seats fit for a king and queen-literally) watching as the guests filed in.

The reception hall

After a bit, we were served our first course, shrimp on a bed of lettuce. There were 8 or 9 massive shrimp on each plate. I should mention that the first course began around 10:00 p.m. They served the table a bottle of wine (that kept refilling itself throughout the night). Most courses were accompanied by great conversation and quite a bit of entertainment from Pedro. I was able to spend a little time talking to Amanda about her experience working in the village (at the same school) and vent a bit about some of the frustrating aspects of Spanish life and school politics.

Obviously people eat at their own paces and finish at varied times. In between the courses, guest wandered from table to table and outside for some fresh air. The bride and groom also walked around the room making conversation with many of the guests as they ate or talked.

A moment to kiss for the crowd

The second course was baked cod with a salsa topping and a crouton and egg to the side. It was a bit salty and chewy for me, but the overall taste was pretty good. After this course, they served a mojito flavored pallet cleanser (the first time I ever had one of those!) that was a tasty cool treat before beginning the third course. The third course ended around midnight and was two delicious pieces of pork wrapped in smoked bacon in a creamy sauce and some patatas a la pobre (poor man’s potatoes), which are essentially sliced potatoes with garlic and onions in olive oil. THIS was MY favorite course. J It was sooooo good! The amount of food they served was amazing (as I am sure the price probably was, as well). It was very difficult to finish all of my plates (and I didn’t), but I did my best.

Dessert was served after they cut the cake. They cut the cake, I must add, with a sword. Yes, a sword. It wasn’t like the cakes I am used to. I’m not sure exactly what type of cake you’d call it, but it was definitely Spanish. J Alongside the cake, there was a chocolate wafer bowl with two scoops of ice cream in it. The one I tried was rum raisin ice cream and I nearly gagged. I’d heard of it, but never tried it. It was like taking a bit of, literally, rum ice cream. It was a straight rum flavor with a raisin in the midst. It was gross. I was immediately turned off from the rest of the ice cream, haha. So, that wasn’t my favorite, but I had clearly had plenty to eat prior to this, so I was in no state of hunger, by any means. J

See... with a sword!

Somewhere in the midst of all the courses of delicious food, they had created a slideshow of Stef and Juan. It was super cute. It showed them both from childhood growing up individually and then brought them together and showed pictures of them throughout their relationship. Also, at some point, the couple went from table to table giving gifts to everyone in attendance. The men all got little miniature ties and all the women got a set of small candles. It was a very kind gesture.

After nearly 4 hours of eating and drinking, they began to clean off some of the center tables to clear out room for a dance floor. Overhead lights went dim and the dance ball lights began along with the music. It was a mixture of English and Spanish songs. They did the traditional first dance, but there was no ‘dollar dance’ or chicken song or wedding train that you may see where I come from. Anyway, it was quite warm in the venue, so many people, including many from our table, were seeking refuge outside to cool down. Relaxing on the comfy furniture outside with a beverage in hand was quite nice. I didn’t do much dancing as I did not get to that phase of drinking. Yes, I now feel like I am one of those people that only dances when she drinks. And lately in my life, I don’t really drink anymore. I can’t say I’m sad about that either. Anyway, I wasn’t big on the dancing, but the dance floor usually had a good amount of people on it. I’m a big fan of people watching and they definitely made it entertaining for me. J

Their first dance

I spent the majority of the end of the night (you know, 3:00 in the morning on…) outside. It was about 3ish when I saw some of the staff bringing out full, unopened bottles of alcohol and sitting them on a table. There were 3 or 4 bottles of each kind of liquor. Then, I saw another waiter setting up glasses to one side of the table. (Glass, glass… not plastic beer cups) Another brought out a bowl of ice for the table and another brought out crates of mixies (Coke, Fanta, etc) and set them on the ground in front of the table. I assumed maybe they were making a bar outside to accommodate the guests, which they were. However, they were setting up for a SELF-SERVING bar. At 3:30 in the morning after the guests had been drinking for hours and hours. That is, quite simply, something you would NOT see where I come from. Giving drunk people free reign to their drinks and trusting them with glassware? Not a chance! I must say, though, that the Spanish seem to hold their alcohol far better than most I’ve ever witnessed (and as a bartender, I have witnessed a few drunk people in my life… and have been one on occasion myself, haha). There weren’t people falling all over the place. There was no puking off to the side. It was genuinely just a bunch of people having a really good time celebrating their friend’s marriage. It was really, really nice. I later was told that the couple had purchased X amount of bottles of each type of booze and if they weren’t used, they still had to pay for them. They built the bar outside so that guests could use as much of the already purchased alcohol as they could.

I was at the bar about 4:30 a.m. getting another beer for myself when the waiter comes out with another platter of food! Seriously!! They had even prepared for that late night (early morning) hunger pang and had hot (temperature) chorizo sausages in a massive bread bowl for all of the remaining guests. Delish!  And I should mention, they also had a massive chocolate fountain with tons of delicious treats to bathe in chocolate. They spoiled their guests!!

The couple had organized a bus service to and from town to ensure that guests get where they need to be without driving under the influence. A fantastic thought! Some of us decided it was time to leave around 5:00 in the morning, so we waited outside for the bus. It never came. Juan and Stef tried to get ahold of the bus driver, who apparently, in the last drive back to town had to drop a few of the guests off at the pub and decided he was going to stay and drink with them. J It was kind of a hectic 30 minutes in trying to figure out how to get everyone home. I was content with walking (although my shoes, at this point, were no longer my friends) because there was only so much room in the ‘rescue’ vehicle that Stef’s mom, sister, and cousins needed to have first dibs. Understandable. Eventually, an SUV showed up to take Stef and Juan home and they offered me a ride. I tried to insist I was okay with walking as I felt like it was a bit inappropriate that I was catching a ride with the newlyweds, but eventually, I gave in. And I’m grateful for that ride! J It turns out, there was still confusion in getting people home and Stef’s family was out in the parking lot. After some changing of cars and moving of people around, a caravan of vehicles headed back into the village. We were dropped off at Stef’s house where we soon realized we were without a key to get in. We only sat a bit before Juan came to the rescue. I said my goodbyes and walked to my house. Got in at 6:00 a.m. J I’ve since talked to Stef who said that Juan’s cousins came to the house and made them go to the pub with everyone, so she didn’t get home until 10:30 a.m. What a trooper!

So, I know I went into a lot of details and some of you just may not care about it, but maybe there’s a couple people that do. I don’t know, haha. I’m hoping you aren’t too bored, but I wanted to be as descriptive as possible and as my memory allowed. The wedding was amazing. The people were really great. The food was delicious. And the fairy tale begins. J

Congratulations, Stefania and Juan, and may your life be filled with all the best! Thank you for letting me be part of your day; it’s a memory that I’ll take with me forever.

Viva los novios!