"On the outside, I look fragile. But on the inside is something you can't crush."
There is an activity I do with many of my clients that is called a "Me Tree" and it's a fantastic representation of the whole roots and wings piece of life. I want to encourage them to recognize the foundation in which they were built and the potential they have within them to do anything they desire. The discussion also allows us to discuss some of the things we can let go of, including some of the negative parts of our foundation. It's one of my favorite activities and allows me to reflect on my own roots and wings regularly. I have a tattoo in the process of being drawn that is a reflection of my attachment to the whole concept. I can't wait to get it (hoping it will happen when I'm in Europe in February so the artist can be there)!
"I have weathered colder winters; longer summers without a drop of rain. Push me in a corner & I'll come out fighting. I may lose, but I'll always keep my faith."
These pictures come from the Anderson Creek Fire in 2016. While they are not, technically, part of 2017. It's part of what contributes to my roots. I have learned a lot of skills and characteristics growing up where I did. Resilience is one of them. Composure through stressful circumstances is something that has been tested on many occasions (and is the reason I selected these photos). The first picture is from my family's ranch and the second picture is from my grandpa's land, some of which I now own.
The top picture is of our family dog, originally Garrett's. He was taking a break on a hot summer day by playing in the cattle tank. We lost him not terribly long ago. That was a tough loss for our family. We've had to bury many pets throughout my life and none of them have been easy, but Grandma's pet, Lady, and Rambo were the toughest pills for me to swallow for sure. It doesn't ever become easy, but it has helped me process loss on a different level. Pets become extended family members and invaluable lessons in developing love and friendship. I was able to see this when Rambo passed away through the eyes of my nieces, who were experiencing the loss from their young minds. But they had the opportunity to interact with such a wonderful dog and develop a love and friendship with him.
To go clear back to my younger days, I was taught some pretty incredible values. It would be ideal if I could say that I welcomed the lessons in life with open arms, but that would be an incredible lie. I was pretty resistant to authority in my house, so in the moment, I certainly would not have given any credit to my Dad for 'teaching' me anything.
As a grown up, haha, I can look back and give credit where credit is due. I was able to learn respect for my elders, something that this present tense generation is seriously lacking. I learned the value of $1 by working for $2/hour for my dad. I was tamping fence posts in the heat of the summer, driving tractor, hauling hay, and working cattle, etc. So that leads me to the next value I grew up with... Hard work. I complained... A lot... Growing up. But I did what I had to do because my dad wouldn't accept excuses.
I was taught that family is incredibly valuable and it is important to lean on them in times of need. I've adapted this to fit my life in the present day. Family does not just equal blood. My family has grown to encompass friends that have became my family and they are people I know I can lean on in times of need. It may take me a minute to allow them into my circle, but once they are in, I trust them wholly. That has carried into my adulthood.
Something that I sort of bucked as a growing person was honesty. I wasn't incredibly honest and I got in trouble for it more times than I can count, but because of that I have gained a deeper value in the importance of honesty. I do not like being lied to, like at all. I can now understand why my dad got so angry if I tried to lie my way out of things. I didn't back then, but I certainly now have a deeper connection with honesty and value it highest among the traits I look for in others. I don't need people to sugarcoat shit, I would far rather hear the truth from the jump. Because that's what you'll get from me!
Loyalty is something I carry up there with honesty. I don't know how much I learned about loyalty growing up, I think I developed that more as I became an adult. It's something that I think is incredibly important and is another characteristic I look for in my relationships I develop as an adult. To be honest, I credit Eminem with a lot of that. Haha! Does that sound ridiculous?! I don't care. And I don't have to justify it to anyone. If you knew his music and story from the beginning, you'd understand completely. Nix Yoxall might be the only one I know that can relate to this! Haha!
I promise you that I will always value these roots. I am not afraid to fight for what I believe in. As the lyric states, you can push me into a corner and I will come out fighting. I'm not just going to sit idly by as you attack me or my people. I have gained a different understanding of what 'fighting' may entail, however. It doesn't have to mean with words or physical aggression, per se, as I'm sure you all are aware. I can gain more positive and effective results by practicing differentiation. Rather than stooping to the level of others in the interaction, I can practice the ability to control my own responses and step outside of the situation in the moment and not make it worse for anyone. I can take the heat, I suppose, but walk away a better person because I know that I did not take a low road to achieve a victory that is more fleeting than anything. My victory is more within me. I have the opportunity to grow from inside and that level of fighting is, most often, the hardest. At the same time, it is also the most rewarding. That certainly does not mean I feel as if I am perfect! I hope this paragraph doesn't come across as arrogance because that is the farthest from what I am trying to get across. While my ability to practice differentiation and take the time to process before responding has grown tremendously in 2017, I have plenty of room to grow. I'm pretty sure I always will.
'Cause I'm country strong. Hard to break. Like the ground I grew up on. You may fool me and I'll fall, but I won't stay down long. 'Cause I'm country strong."
A "cute" picture of me and my dad in my youth... This guy is one of the biggest contributors to building my foundation. I've had to make my own adjustments as I have grown into an adult, but the foundation was set by this guy.
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