Release

LI was able to see this song performed live in Amsterdam and it was incredible. I actually have a tattoo of the second verse on my left thigh, that's how much this song means to me. From what I know about the song itself is that Eddie wrote it with his stepfather in in mind. For the purpose of this entry, I'm going to use it as a post about forgiveness. Forgiveness is something I am working on gaining a better understanding of. 

I've asked many people what it truly means to forgive someone. And how will I know if I have actually forgiven them? I'm opening that question up to those of you still reading these blog entries. This first quote I am posting is sort of my own answer to that. I don't think I realized how imprisoned one is by allowing an offense (or grudge or whatever term you want to use) to take up residency in your heart, but it is exactly that. It does nothing to the person(s) who have wronged you, it only eats at your own soul...

                 

I'm not saying that I won't ever allow something to come into my heart and take up space on a temporary term. As I've said, it is important to allow yourself to feel all of those emotions, including the negativity, so that you know how to best respond in the future. I allow myself to feel the burn from the pain and I learn from it. It's not an immediate lesson, of course, but little by little, I'm making each lesson more brief.

                   

I don't want anyone to have so much control over my heart that they have the power to destroy it. This particular quote is powerful to me because it acknowledges that the behavior that occured is not excused, it's just not going to have any type of power over my heart. I am the only protector of my heart, so I must stay strong, as she counts on me to be her guardian. 

                                    

I have a fantastic memory. It's both a blessing and a curse, I suppose. I can listen to a song from my junior college days and I can go back in time to an interaction that occured to that very song. Sometimes it's a negative interaction and sometimes, it is such a good memory that I just have to smile and bask in its energy. I'm sure many people have that ability, so I doubt it's anything unique or profound that I am talking about right now. I am also able to hear a single word and be taken back to a situation or circumstance that caused that word to have so much power beyond its actual meaning. Unfortunately, like that Velcro I referred to in one of my entries, I spent a lot of time dwelling on the negativity, so many of the words I remember take me back to a negative space. I'm working on making that space smaller, though. 

        

Here is the link for my absolute favorite version of the song. The video is not super clear, but that's okay. Just close your eyes and hear it... It's incredible. https://youtu.be/4tvlL8o3lPY