The Sun is Rising

        

This is the view of Machu Picchu as the sun rises over the ancient city.

I know that I focus a lot on my quest to change the negative thinking to positive. It is an absolutely essential piece of my success. I decided that I wanted to focus this entry on my desire to help others through their own storms and the darkness they may be experiencing. That's a huge part of why I went to grad school for the field I'm in. And let me tell you, being a part of the light in the darkness is one of the most incredibly amazing feelings in the world. It is unmatched. It touches you in the depths of your heart.


First and foremost, I cannot even begin to compare what my pain is to the pain of others. What I consider painful may be just a walk in the park to another person. I know I've said it before, but that does not make my pain any less or more significant than that of others. I just want to acknowledge that once again. Everyone has a story, a journey they are on, with mountains to climb and roads to be created. Some chapters may be a bit more sketchy than others, but there is hope at the beginning of that road or at the base of that mountain.


What I want to say with this entry is specifically to those going through some hard times. If you are reading this, please know that you can reach out to me and I will do what I can from afar (or close) to help you. I will light a match in your dark space, as my friends have done for me. I do not care if we haven't spoken for years, weeks, days, or hours... You can reach out to me.


If you haven't listened to this song before, I highly recommend it. The link is at the bottom of the page if you'd like to hear it (there's no official video).  Here we go...


"When life has cut too deep and left you hurting. The future you had hoped for is now burning. And the dreams you held so tight have lost their meaning. And you don't know if you'll ever find the healing. You're gonna make it."


I watch my Facebook feed fill up with negativity all the time. Not just political/racial/etc. negativity, but I see personal pain flow through some of the entries of my friends. While it is my personal choice not to put that sort of information out there for the world to see, I do try to acknowledge those that seem to be going through something. If it's in a comment, a message, a text, or a call... I try to reach out in some way so they know they are thought of and cared for. Just read those lyrics again. Go ahead. I'll wait...


Have you ever felt that before? Like really felt it at the very core of your being? It seems like you can't win and life just keeps handing you shit storm after shit storm and doesn't feel like things will ever get better? You had all these goals and plans for the future, whether that's with a significant other or just on a personal or professional level, and then it's as if a tornado comes along and sucks you in and throws you, in a mangled mess, into the wild unknown?


You will make it. You don't have to go through those things alone.

       

This picture was taken during the Anderson Creek Fire in 2016 from the Cook Ranch. It was a very dark time for our little community, but that sun still arrived every day!

"The night can only last for so long. Whatever you're facing, if your heart is breaking, there's a promise for the ones who just hold on. Lift up your eyes and see. The sun is rising."

We all know that, eventually, the sun will rise. Hence, the title of this entry and the reason behind the post. I'm positive I put this somewhere in the blog already, but I want you to remember that your track record for getting through the bad days is 100% so far & that is incredible! You literally cannot get better than that. Sometimes, all of your effort is focused on just getting out of bed. If that's the best thing you've done with your day, then kuddos to you! That's huge! Don't try to go around the mountain. Just move one step at a time. 

There is not nearly enough education out there, especially in our small community where I live, about the harsh reality that is depression and what signs and symptoms to look for. That shit can disguise itself as pure joy on the face of someone and inside, their world is spinning. You have no idea. I have no idea. They could be coaching themselves to take each step just so they keep moving with a smile on their face. I can totally relate to this when Grandpa passed. There were days where I would literally give myself a pep talk in an attempt to motivate me to move... Just move. While my people knew my pain, I promise you that I can hide that shit well. The sadness behind my smile was incredibly painful and heavy.

I'm not going to turn this into PSA about depression, I just want you to know that it is very real and very prevalant, even in Small Town, USA. So take the time to smile at strangers. Wave at them. Say hello. Something I have taken to doing is random acts of kindness on an anonymous and selfless level. I used to pay for the people behind me at Starbucks, but since I don't drink that stuff anymore, I have taken it to other levels. I use my increased awareness to pay attention to what is going on around me. If I see someone eating alone, I'm always curious about their stories and what brought them to that moment. If I observe their kindness towards the waitress, I may just sporadically go pay for their food and leave. I try to find something selfless to do on a regular basis. That alone could change someone's life. Yes, I said life. One word. One act. It can save a life. 

Again, that darkness can only last for so long. Eventually, the sun will rise and a new day will begin. Take small steps and make easy and attainable goals for yourself. Talk kindly to yourself because you are worth it. 

"Every high and every low you're gonna go through. You don't have to be afraid, I am with you. In the moments you're so weak, you feel like stopping. Let the hope you have light the road you're walking. You're gonna make it."

One of the very first things I start every session with is, "Tell me something good about today." I want to start my time with them off in a positive way. If that something good is merely getting out of bed, then so be it. That's amazing. And I reinforce that like crazy. As the session continues, it usually comes out that there are far more positive things going on than they realize, they are just looking through a negative lens. So I clear that lens for them and I acknowledge every positive thing they do. There will always, always be highs and lows... That cannot go away... But you can get through it. I cannot stress that enough. You are worth it and you will survive the darkness. 

I literally just wrote about allowing yourself to sit with the feelings of weakness in my last entry and I believe that you have to allow yourself to feel it so then you can begin to heal. Allow yourself to fall to your knees and cry, for however long you need. And then know that there are people that will be there when you need a hand getting up. I'll be first in line if you need me. 

Through school, they reinforced a huge key to successful therapy is that the client needs to have hope. The size of their hope can be microscopic, but as long as it's there, there's a chance. It's important for me, as a therapist, but as a friend, to find help the people I come in contact with find something to be hopeful about. 

I'm just going to put in a little plug for my profession right now... But it's so valid for this entry. Therapy can help you, too. I see a therapist and now that I know the benefits, I have kicked myself repeatedly for not getting into it earlier in my life! The relationships and situations I've been through may have had very different endings if I'd had an outlet. So if you don't want to talk to your family or friends, you can always reach out to an unbiased 3rd party and they can be your light in the darkness.

I'm going to close this entry with these last lyrics. Just let them soak in. And listen to the song. She sings it beautifully.

"And even when you can't imagine how, how you're ever gonna find your way out. Even when you're drowning in your doubt, just look beyond the clouds. The sun is rising."


It's just a video of the song, but it's such a powerful song! Give it a listen!!