You Don't Own Me

Only 3 more to go (counting this one)! Are y'all sick of it yet? I suppose it's a choice you make to come here and read my words, so you can also make the choice to swipe on down the line and not read, haha! 

                                       

For those still sticking it out with me, I appreciate it! It really has been incredibly empowering and fun, to be honest. I didn't realize how much therapy this would be for me, so thank you all for being my free therapists! 

This entry is one that I wanted to focus on my independence. I spent a lot of time throughout this project focusing on what I wanted to obtain on this journey of mine, so this entry will be a tad bit different in that it is something I feel like I have mastered... Perhaps all too well.

Tell me you've seen The First Wive's Club... You know the last scene of the movie when they sing "You Don't Own Me?" That is my favorite version of this song! I love The First Wive's Club, so that's the clip I chose to include! 

"You don't own me, I'm not just one of your many toys."

I realize that I talked about my desire to find love and be in a committed relationship with someone who loves me just the same. That is very true. It's probably the thing I want most in this world. However, I want to be very clear that, while I desire to be in an relationship with my equal, I am fiercely independent and that is going to take awhile to kick. I will not allow someone to tell me what to do and act as if I am a piece of their property, absolutely unacceptable. I've spent a lot of years developing this version of myself and I'm very proud of her. She doesn't need someone, she would just like to share her life with someone special. And that person, when I meet him, will be someone very special.

"Don't tell me what to do. Don't tell me what to say. And please, when I go out with you, don't put me on display."

I realize that I'll always be accountable to someone whether at work or elsewhere, but I won't be told what to do by someone who is my partner. I don't want to have to conform to someone else's expectations just to fit in. I'm fully capable of being flexible and adaptable to my environment and am more than willing to demonstrate those qualities with someone who is my equal. Are you getting the importance of equality in this situation? I will absolutely adjust my thought processes, but I expect the same adaptability from my partner.

"You don't own me, don't try to change me in any way. You don't own me, don't tie me down 'cause I'd never stay."

A healthy amount of change is expected. You learn to grow together and become a unit together. I think something that held me back in my past is that I believed I could (or should) change someone to fit the way that I think they need to be. Who am I to make that decision? I do not expect anyone to change their core beliefs and behaviors for me. And I won't alter myself for them. Again, I will be flexible and adaptable and make changes as part of a team, but if someone tries to force me to do something... That shit will backfire so quickly. Something forced will not be authentic and I am all about authenticity. I don't want any type of false relationship, romantic or not. 

"I don't tell you what to say, I don't tell you what to do. So just let me be myself. That's all I ask of you."

It's a pretty simple request. Just let me myself, that's all I ask of you. I will do the same for you. I won't tell you what to say or ask you to be anything other than who you are. You know, as I was walking and thinking about this song and this entry, the thought crossed my mind that I should probably come with a warning label. Warning 1: When anything Chiefs is on, just plan on taking a back seat and allowing her to have her space. Do not try to talk stupid shit when the boys are playing. She will ignore you. Warning 2: She comes with a mountain of insecurities, but if you make the trek to the top of that mountain, the vast array of endless flowers is ripe for the picking. Warning 3: She is determined and she goes after what she wants and believes in. If you're lucky enough to join her on her journey, hang on tight because the ride will be so worth it.

"I'm young and I love to be young. I'm free and I love to be free. To live my life the way that I want, to say and do whatever I please." 

Fiercely independent, I tell you. I have lived on my own for a long time. I've paid my own bills and figured out how to manage household things on my own. I love that I can move to another city or country if I want to. I have that freedom at my disposal. I don't want it to sound like I'm not going to be considerate of others and I will certainly think before I speak or act. I will live my life the way that I want and I won't be afraid to speak my mind and do what I think is right. I love having that freedom!! I cannot wait to be in a partnership with someone who allows me to be me and accepts me for who I am, flaws and all. Until then, I'll stick to my independence and embrace it!